The color pallet is spot on. the linework is well done. composition is good. I'm a fan of the lights in the far background, it's a nice touch. the detailing on her clothing is pretty accurate.
The perspective is a bit off. the background is as if you're looking down towards the ground, while twintelle herself is placed as if your looking up at her.
Not enough contrast in the lighting, it's best to have five tones of light and dark, i only count three. adding another level of dark and another level of light would really help the piece pop out. On the topic of lighting, my next criticism is that while the lighting is mostly inconsistent, and its unclear where the light source is. the poles in the background and the pigtails suggest that the light is directly behind twintelle, while the lighting on her ass and head and arm suggest that its coming from directly on her on the right. despite all of this, there are clearly also lights coming from right in front of her.
and a slight nit pick, the highlight on her ass is too close to the dark, it should be a little more to the right, away from the dark.
The lighting is the main issue with this piece and i feel that if you improve it in future pieces you could make some real good shit.
(also min min's ass is bigger take that in to consideration when looking for what to draw next)
Your coloring is well done; the glitter is a nice touch. looks great. background is pretty, looks good but isn't intrusive to the rest of the piece. The main issue is how the anatomy is handled. The breast are proportionate, but the one on the right (symm's left) could be moved up just slightly. the biggest anatomical error is simply that the arm on the right (symm's left) is way too forward. since that arm is in the back, it should not be the same size as the arm in the front. Hard to explain into words, id suggest looking at references of people in similar poses.
I absolutely agree on the anatomy errors in the piece, I knew something was definitely off about the arms (and now that you bring up the breasts too I can totally see what you mean) however was unsure how to fix it in the process of making the picture. Your reasoning as to why it looks off though is super helpful, I'll try to be more mindful of that in the future. Thanks for your critique!
Good composition and excellent placement of shading, especially on the wall and ground. anatomy is correct. this could be improved by having the shadow on the wall be a very dark brown rather than a straight black, also making the shadows on the ground be darker. on the girl, the darks could be made darker and the lights lighter, considering it looks to be as she is in direct sunlight. aside from shading, the girl's grip on the rifle is very loose and could be made tighter to look more natural. overall the piece lacks any sort of line weight/ difference in line thickness and while i cant offer a specific example i would suggest looking into that. my final suggestion is a question. if the wind is blowing at her, making her scarf flutter back, wouldnt it do the same for her strap on the rifle, and the rope coming off her waist? overall is a good peice and lotsa improvement from the original
Wow. This is really helpful. I'll indeed look more into lineweight. She has a loose grip on the rifle because she's waiting. This pose is from an art book. Indeed everything in the wind should be blowing. I forgot that.
i like what you did with the filter on the camera, you should try scanning this and put it in photoshop and give it this a gradient/play around with coloring the linework
I did scan it and put it in Photoshop. You just described exactly what I did...Haha..
the colors are really pretty. But the shading on the skirt is too light and could be made a lot darker/harsher, but the shading on the hair and the eye was done well. linework overall is smooth but a better demonstration of lineweight could be done here. all lines as is are the same/near the same thickness. and there are several places i can see where the ends of the lines could be cleaned up all around but especially on the bottom of the skirt and in the facial area.
Hey, thank you for your helpful comment! I made a small update based on some of your points! Thank you very much!
mimikyu is great i love this, i love the background too.
colorings pretty great, compositions good, backgorund is a nice touch, but i think her back is bent in a little too much. not sure someone can easily bent around that much without hurting themselves
(whats with all the tracer ass being posted recenty?)
no clue but twas a commission and butt in the shot was requested as far as the back angle (check out ya butt in the mirror yo it can be done.
it looks p good, like the coloroing. but it kinda has a bit too much shine/bloom to it. kinda looks like im lookin at early windwaker hd footage
color - the customer's request
i like how even when working with low poly, you still can put in detail as far as the cigarettes.
Thank you :)
love the color and composition of this
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